Relationships Counseling – The challenge of Age and Education Difference Factor


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Relationships and marriages today are in the verge of crumbling even though nurtured on the face of clear religious values. The question is; does age and education have a bearing on this fall out? Why then do we experience lots of crazy and unexpected break ups?

It’s really extremely astonishing attesting to this fact. While many Relationships disintegrate due to other known factors, why then shouldn’t we consider age and education as a case study?

Relationships in the olden days:-

In the traditional set up, Relationships were a matter of prescribed traditional cultural norms. Challenges were not significantly noted due to the systematic design especially bearing in mind the age group set up, which consequently dictated marriage and subsequently resolution mechanisms were in place.

Relationships were influenced by Parents who could connect with members of other families in a given clan and ‘marry’ their children. This was practical then, but in this era and time it is almost impractical.

 Relationships in modern times:-

In this modern time, things seem to have radically changed. There are several factors that can be attributed and play a key role in the immense challenges experienced in Relationships today. The major factors could be and are not limited to lifestyle, education, the age difference and religion.

I want to pick and concentrate on age and education and using a case study to see if this can be a reason why some marriages and Relationships end up breaking or even become a nightmare.

A Case study depicting education and age as a challenge in Relationships

A gentleman aged 30yrs of age enters into a relationship with a lady aged 18yrs, a difference of 12yrs. The man is a graduate with the lady being a high school dropout.  This a case study defined by age and education differences.

Relationships

Relationships Breakups

In their courtship period, education and age were none issues and each party was very cautious on how they handled each other. ‘’ In their first relationship encounter it was love at first sight and we subsequently engaged in romantic escapades, we truly loved each other’’, said Otieno, preferring to be called by his family name. Relationships might not easily walk a tight rope of restriction but we must be extremely careful.

However, after they got married, things started changing gradually for the worst. ‘’As years went by my dear Rachel started picking quarrels over small issues’’, he said.  Though it is normal to experience quarrels in Relationships, Rachel’s appeared to be centering towards inferiority complex.

‘’In instances where we had an argument, I felt that Rachel was acting like a teenager, she was immature’’.  ‘I think she is too young to reason the way I do’. Relationships can be tricky when one party acts like a teenager while the other is mature.

On the contrary, Rachel feels that Otieno is too proud because he is a graduate. ‘’He constantly intimidates me using English vocabulary or statements that I can not understand, this makes me mad!’’, she said. ‘’I think he took advantage of my inability to eloquently express myself in English’’.

According to him, she misinterpreted some of the phrases and made them appear like insults. ‘’She became furious all the time, yet I thought I was expressing myself in simple English’’, he said.

‘’Despite my attempts to calm her down in order for me to explain the phrases I had used, she wouldn’t give me a breather’’.

‘This was really frustrating leading me to avoid discussions with her’. This did not help either, because she accused me of not paying attention to her. Our relationship started crumbling.

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Relationships encounter a myriad of challenges, but it is important for us to start interrogating the role of education and age difference as a major trigger to crumbled Relationships.